Panic?

Today has been up and down. I went to my doctor's appointment earlier, which was fine. Everything was fine, and my doctor says I've healed nicely and that everything looks good. I've also already lost a little over 30 pounds. I still have more to go to get to my pre-pregnancy weight, and I'd like to lose even more. Breastfeeding is the best diet plan ever! And losing giant amounts of fluid. Roxanne was pretty good at the doctor's office. She liked Dr. Johnston and smiled and stared at her while she held her. I wanted to take a picture, but I forgot to.

When we got back home, my W-2 had come, and since we got Justin's yesterday, I thought I'd go ahead and get started on filing our return now that we have TurboTax. I've just finished doing most of the initial work on it, and we apparently owe $900. I have no idea how that happened, and I have no idea how we are going to pay it. I think we'll have to put off filing until the last minute and try to save up money in the mean time. I guess we have until April... This is going to be a tight couple of months. What happens when you don't pay the government your taxes? I wonder if we can put them on layaway. :) We had been hoping for a good return this year since we knew we'd get a break for Roxanne being born. That's why I was in such a rush to file. Does that count as irony?

A quiet day

Roxanne and I had a nice quiet day today. I can't believe she'll be 6 weeks old tomorrow! The time has gone by so incredibly fast. I am technically supposed to go back to work on Thursday, but I am not going back until the 11th. I know it will be here all too soon, though.

Sunday we did go to Dr. Bombay's and my friend Christa came and met Roxanne. Roxanne slept most of the time we were there, but towards the end, she got fussy and wouldn't take the bottle. We walked back home, and she made it without a melt down. Yesterday Roxanne and I walked to Flying Biscuit and met my sister and the girls and my step-mom for lunch. It was really nice, and we got coffee at Dr. Bombay's afterwards. Roxanne liked Flying Biscuit, although she slept through most of lunch. She still didn't want to take the bottle, from Colleen or Kendree. I was on the verge of nursing in the coffee shop before we decided to leave. Walking home, she just fell asleep again. The girls and Kendree came over for a little while, and it is so cute watching them interact with Roxanne.

Last night Justin and I took Roxanne to Target. I wanted to get the Nuk nipples, but they don't make them to fit on Playtex bottles anymore. So I bought one Nuk bottle with the orthodontic nipple to try, and of course, I get home and start taking it apart to boil it, and the nipple is missing. I called Gerber, and they are mailing me two nipples free of charge, but it's still really annoying. I think someone must have opened the box and taken the nipple out. We also went ahead and bought Turbo Tax while we were there. It was on sale, and I want to file ASAP this year. My step-dad recommended doing Turbo Tax over going to H&R Block, and I think he is right. It's definitely a lot cheaper.

Roxanne is pretty much the same. She's still smiling a lot, but she does seem to be sleeping more lately. She's still nursing very very often, but I'm OK with that. I'm just still so relieved that we're still able to pull this whole breastfeeding thing off. I know it stinks for Justin, since it seems like as soon as he gets to hold her she fusses to eat again, but it is so good for her health. The more I read this Dr. Sears breastfeeding book, the more I am thrilled with our decision. Of course, the book is openly critical of giving bottles or pacifiers, and we have to do both. But not everyone can be a stay-at-home mom. Unfortunately. At least there is a good chapter about breastfeeding and working. Every time I read magazine articles about that, they provide some information, but mostly talk about reasons you should quit your job. It's like they think everyone who works does so because they want to, and not because they have to pay bills. The book has some real information that is really helpful. Hopefully Roxanne will get the hang of eating from a bottle, and this whole thing will get easier.

Hurray for weekends!

We've had a lovely weekend. We went to dinner on Friday night with Jacquelyn, Jesse and Evie at La Fonda. As always, the food was great. Justin and I took turns holding Roxanne, since there wasn't really room for her infant seat. It's a pretty small restaurant. She behaved very well. She still doesn't like the bottle though. I'm thinking I'm going to start pumping enough for a bottle every day, and try to have Justin give it to her in the evening. That way she will hopefully get better with it, and Justin will be able to spend more time with her. She's fussy in the evenings lately, and it makes it tough for him to spend much time with her, since she just wants to nurse. I've only got two more weeks of maternity leave, and then she'll have to take a bottle during the day.

On Saturday, our friends Megan and Zak came over for a visit, and we had a lot of fun. They brought some wonderful gifts, too, including two of the cutest baby outfits I've ever seen. They are both 6-12 months, and I can't wait for her to wear them. They are from Loehman's, and I've never been there before, but now I really want to go. I just need to figure out where it is... Roxanne was very well behaved while they were here, although she's still nursing almost every hour. She's a little snacker. The pediatrician said she would probably get more regular with her eating patterns from day care. It's tough though, since she just gets so frustrated and cries with the bottle most of the time. I just wish I could stay with her and not have to bother so much with it. I thought about buying an Adiri bottle to try, which is what the lactation consultant at the hospital recommends. They are really neat bottles, and they basically look just like boobs. They used to only sell them online, but I saw them at Babies R Us with my mom. They are really cool, but they are $12 per bottle! If I got one, and she didn't like it, it would be kind of a waste. I would also have to buy at least 4 for her day care, too. And we are pretty well set with the Playtex Drop Ins. My mom suggested trying a Nuk brand nipple with the Playtex bottle, so we might try that. Jacquelyn also suggested a brand of nipple that Evie liked.

Anyways, I'm sure the world of bottles and nipples is not that exciting to all of you. In other news, Roxanne is smiling more and more every day, and sometimes she does this really cute thing where she smiles and then it sort of turns into a coo. It sounds kind of like a giggle. It's a nice break from her usual grunts. The pictures of her are dark, but with close ups on her face, the flash washes her out completely. I understand why babies make people buy really nice cameras. The photo above is my favorite of her smiling, but of course, more are on Flickr.

We are off to enjoy the weather and take a walk. We might even venture out again. Probably just to a coffee shop or something, but we'll see.

Good News!

Today has been good so far, and it's not even noon yet. Roxanne has started smiling at me. And these smiles are different from the gas smiles. They are clearly smiles right at me. She did it the other night, but this morning, they were much more direct, and adorable.

Also, two of the HR people at my work just called to tell me that I'll be coming back to work in a new position (Senior Immigration Assistant versus my previous title of Immigration Assistant) which also comes along with a raise. So that is definitely good news. I now have to decide if I want to be salaried, which means I'll finally have paid sick days and paid holidays, or stay hourly, which works well if I decide to come back to work on more of a part time basis. Unfortunately, I'm not sure if we could afford for me to work part time, so I will probably try to be salaried, but work a schedule like 8 to 4. Then maybe I can skip my lunch break and leave at 3:30 every day... We'll see. The good news is that they are flexible. I still wish more than anything that I could stay home with Roxanne, but at least I will be getting more money! That's always nice.

Big Day for Baby

Today was very busy for me and Roxanne. We had to get up earlier than usual to make it to her specialist appointment at Scottish Rite off of the Glenridge Connector. The appointment was at 9:30, and I wanted to leave at 8:30, but didn't get out the door until 9:00. We actually made it on time, and my mom met us there to help me out since Justin was back at work today. Roxanne was pretty well-behaved, even though we were there for 2 hours. We saw a nurse, a physical therapist, and several of the doctors (the doctors all come in a big group). The physical therapist was very nice, and she did some exercises with Roxanne to test her arm movement. She brought her a rattle, and I was very surprised to see Roxanne hold it and wave it around. I didn't know she could do that! Roxanne did very well with everything. The physical therapist said she looked great and gave me a sheet with some exercises to do, but most of them (like tummy time) are things that all babies are supposed to do. She said that tummy time will be great because it will help strengthen Roxanne's shoulder, since she'll putting pressure on it. The doctor said pretty much the same thing; that Roxanne looks great and that she expects (but can't guarantee) that Roxanne will make a full recovery. She said that if babies are going to make a full recovery, they will do so by the time they are three months. And Roxanne has made huge progress in just one month, so she should be totally fine by three. The doctor said we could come back in a year if we still see any signs of a problem, but she doubted we would. Roxanne's a tough little girl.

After the doctor, we went to lunch at a restaurant near North Point, which was delicious. I forgot the name of it... But Roxanne only stayed in her car seat for about ten minutes. She only fussed a little, but I went ahead and pulled her out and held her. She slept through the rest of lunch on my shoulder. Next was Babies 'R Us, where we picked up some necessities. They have a special lounge for breastfeeding there, so we took advantage of it. It was a little icky, as all the furniture was a little worse for wear, but it was private, and not in a bathroom! After that, we went to the mall for a little while. I put Roxanne in the sling, but ended up carrying her around for part of the time. She likes to look around. I ended up feeding her in the Dillard's bathroom, and in the Macy's bathroom. She was really being snacky, and I had accidentally left her pacifier at the doctor's office. All in all, she did very well, and me and my mom had a lot of fun. Roxanne attracted a lot of attention, but fortunately, nobody touched her. One woman touched the ears on her outfit, but that was it. It was a nice day.

Big Baby

We went to Roxanne's one-month check up today at the pediatrician. She did very well, and only fussed at the doctor a little bit. Fortunately, they also let me leave her diaper on while they weighed her, since last time she peed on me. She's up to 10 pounds 12 ounces and her height is 22.5 inches. So she's gained one pound and six ounces and grown an inch since birth! Both her weight and height are in the 90th percentile. The doctor says that her left shoulder seems to be just slightly weaker than her right, but that overall, she's very impressed that Roxanne is using it so much, and that it's pretty much normal. We're glad, too.

Nothing much else, just that she recommends that we start giving Roxanne a vitamin supplement so that she gets Vitamin D. It's an over-the-counter medicine that my mom remembers giving me and my sister. We haven't gotten it yet, but I plan to.

After the doctor's visit, we went to Barnes and Noble since Justin had a gift card from his bosses. It was nice to get out and do normal things again, and Roxanne was very well behaved. I just held her while we were in there, and she slept and/or looked around quietly for the most part. I bought a Dr. Sears' book on breastfeeding that is so far proving to be very very good. I also got Me Talk Pretty One Day by Dave Sedaris. I've read Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim about nine times, so I figured it would be a good investment. Justin found a really cool book by Alex Ross that's about music. He tried to explain it to me, but my mommy brain is sort of slow these days. Also, I fell down the stairs yesterday, and I think I jarred my brain. However, we rented Raising Arizona on iTunes. It's such a good stand by. And it made me forget that one of my toes is sort of crooked now. :)

Baby Birthday

Yesterday was officially Roxanne's one-month birthday. Justin's Dad and Susan (Grandpa and Mimi) came to visit. Roxanne was very well behaved, if I do say so myself. She did make a huge mess with her poop, and had to have a wardrobe change, but I think she was just trying to impress them. She had another bath with me last night, and I think she really enjoyed it. She had these really big eyes when she first got in, sort of like she was shocked, but then she calmed down and just seemed really relaxed. She chewed one of her fingers for much of the bath.

On Friday, Roxanne and I went to Youngblood Gallery with Jacquelyn and Evie, and we had a nice little shopping trip. I didn't put Roxanne in anything, and just carried her around, and she was really pretty good the whole time. She was continually farting these ridiculously loud farts, especially when the super-hip cashier was around, and embarrassed me just a little bit. But other than that, she was fine. Only a little fussy, since she got hungry when we were about to leave. I bought her a very cute little dress, and a print for the apartment. They are closing at the end of the month, so everything was 40% off. I wish I could go back and buy more... They should be re-opening sometime soon, but they don't have a new location picked yet.

In other Roxanne news, she's been throwing up lately. She threw up on Friday night while Jesse and Jacquelyn and Evie were over for dinner, and it was very scary. However, I had been trying to give her a bottle, and she had been very fussy, and she didn't have a fever, so we assumed it was just gas. This morning she threw up again, so I called the doctor. The doctor told me that it is mostly likely just exaggerated spit-up, since it's occurring after meals and she doesn't have a fever. Also, she's not violently throwing up, more just casually throwing up. Honestly, Roxanne doesn't seem bothered by it at all. She just wants to eat again as soon as it happens.

My friend Sarah came over for a visit today, and Roxanne was pretty well-behaved. She has been so alert lately. It's very very cute.