Thursday, March 27, 2008

Catching My Breath

So our Easter was lovely. Roxanne looked very cute in her Easter Dress, and she liked watching her cousins all dressed up and hunting for eggs. She behaved pretty well at the Country Club! It's so funny; when we arrived and were seated, "I thought, geez, this table is huge!" but at this point, we have 15 people! 16 including Roxanne. I never really think of us has having a big family, but it really is. And the 15 is just my mom's side. That doesn't include my stepdad's family, my Dad and stepmom's respective families, and then Justin's family...I could go on.

Anyways, we had a great time, and got to see my Aunt and Uncle's beautiful new home that just recently was finished. It's right next to the Country Club and on the lake. It's very very nice. Sometimes I think about living in a house again, and I just get awed thinking about what we would do with all of the space! Of course, we probably will be in apartments indefinitely, so it's all pipe dreams. Anyways, on Monday at work I noticed some itchy spots behind my ears. By Tuesday morning, I had angry and itchy red welts covering a pretty significant portion of my body. I went to the doctor (I had just called the nurses to see what medication I could take and then they called back and said I should be seen...ugh). It was a waste of time. The doctor just said that it could be an allergic reaction, and I could probably take Benadryl. I'm erring on the side of caution and have been using an Aveeno anti-itch lotion for poison ivy and chicken pox and stuff. It works pretty well. By today, the welts are much less red and itchy, so I think I'm in the upswing. Thank goodness. I was getting lots of weird looks at work. Fortunately, and knock on wood, Roxanne and Justin haven't shown any signs, which makes me think it was something I am allergic to, or just too much stress. Who knows? It's sort of been one thing after another lately.

Roxanne has really been changing lately. She has giggled a few times, although I can't seem to figure out how to reliably get her to do it. Today she giggled at Katie, while I had Roxanne in the Snugli carrier and I was trying to put Katie's leash on. Katie was being a total spaz and bouncing off of everything, and Roxanne apparently thought it was funny. I can't wait until she starts doing it more often. It's just the cutest sound. She's still drooling and drooling and drooling. I think she might be starting teething. Ick. She's got a fist in her moth almost all the time. And if she can catch your hand, she'll grab it, and then slowly raise it towards her mouth, all while looking at you, like she's thinking "Dare me? I'm gonna do it!" She's really cuter and cuter every day.

Saturday, March 22, 2008

One last thing

My stepdad scanned and sent me this photo of me and Kendree with Santa. I'm probably between 2 and 3 months in the photo. I can't tell whether or not me and Roxanne look the same, or not.

Happy Almost Easter!

We're off to the park in a moment, but I wanted to tell everyone Happy Easter! Just in case I don't get a chance to do it tomorrow. Tomorrow we'll be in Gainesville with my big giant family at my Aunt and Uncle's country club. It will be Roxanne's first Easter egg hunt! My sister was kind enough to buy Roxanne a very cute Easter dress, and it matches with Chloe and Ella's dresses, so they can be triplets. I'm sure the whole day will be one big photo shoot, but that's what it's all about, right?

In the mean time, I took some photos of Roxanne in her bunny hat, that Kendree got for her. There are several on Flickr, but here's my favorite:

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Tomorrow is Roxanne's 3 Month Birthday!

Tomorrow is a big milestone. It's one of those age shifts that is referenced in a lot of baby books. You know, like "at 3 months, babies will begin to [insert developmental step here]." It's really very exciting. It's strange though, since I'm constantly torn between being totally thrilled with all of the new things that Roxanne is doing, but also sad to see her growing. Well, maybe sad isn't the right word. Just sort of misty-eyed. Here's some of the new things in our lives:

*Roxanne seems like she might be teething. She's been very drooly, and is getting good at spit bubbles. She also sucks on her hand constantly and has been a little more fussy and needy than usual. She's also having loose poops still. Nothing to worry about I don't think, but still, all signs point to teething. One of my co-workers has a 12 month old with no teeth, and one of my other co-workers has an 11 month old with 8 teeth. The one who has 8 teeth apparently started teething at around Roxanne's age. Who knows?

*Roxanne is getting very good at rolling from her back to her side and/or belly. She sort of gets her upper body face down, but not necessarily the rest of her body. But she is getting better and less fussy with tummy time.

*We put Roxanne in her crib for the first time tonight. I put together the mobile that Nana got her. She laid in her crib and talked to the mobile and watched enraptured while the little animals moved in a circle. The only problem is that it seemed to really wind her up. She was kicking her legs and swinging her arms like a wild woman. Then the animals stopped moving, and about 3 minutes later she abruptly started screaming. She kept that up until I nursed her in bed. She promptly sacked out. I wonder how Andrea gets her to nap in a crib? She seems to not sleep with me at home unless she can nurse to sleep. I heard a woman say that you should wake them just a little when they fall asleep nursing, just so that they open their eyes and then go back to sleep with nothing in their mouth. Roxanne does OK with this about half the time, and the other half the time she just wakes up and screams until I feed her again. Actually, she doesn't scream, just roots around like a wolf puppy, grunting and squirming. She also pulls and grabs at her face when she's worked up, leaving teensy little cuts on her nose. I swear I clip her nails once a week.

*As of our visit to the pediatrician last Monday, Roxanne weighs 13 pounds 5 ounces, and I had to buy diapers in a size 2 last night! They are for Andrea's, so we are still using size 1 at home, but she is definitely not going to be in them much longer. She's got a big booty! I bought a package of 1/2 size diapers at a consignment sale a while ago, so I think those will be perfect soon. I don't think they sell them anywhere but Babies R Us, since I couldn't find them last night at Target. They are Pampers, but I've been using Huggies and prefer them. They just seem to fit better. I'd like to use the Seventh Generation diapers with no chlorine, but they didn't have them at Target and I didn't have time to trek all the way to Whole Foods last night while Justin was watching Roxanne at home. Plus, there is a pretty big price difference, and with our recent trip to the emergency room, we're trying to plan ahead for that anticipated expense.

I've been very busy at work and I'm trying to make the shift from coffee to tea, since it's a much more gentle way of getting caffeine for me, but all of the stress at work makes it tough. It's also messed up my milk supply a little bit. I think I'm going to have to start pumping 3 times a day at work...ugh. I'm also going to have to buy a real pump, since the one I have is really meant for occasional use only. I'm hoping to use my flexible spending account for it. Pumping at work is kind of awful, but I'm doing my best. It's so important to me that Roxanne have breast milk for the first year. I've been working on being more comfortable with feeding her in public, too, since my sling makes it totally invisible, and it's only my own hang ups that keep me from doing it. It's just such a hot button issue! But over the course of the last two weeks, I've nursed Roxanne while walking around Lenox Mall, while eating breakfast at Whole Foods, and at a local coffee shop. Unfortunately, if you are going to be out and about on a Saturday, you just have to nurse the baby, since you can't run home every time you need to pump. I'm looking around for a good nursing apron, since Roxanne will soon be too big to hide in the sling.

Good grief, I've probably alienated half of you by now. Poop, breastfeeding... If I could just talk about PMS I could probably get all of you offended. Unfortunately, I don't really remember what that is anymore. Check back with me in a few months.

Well, we are all feeling much healthier lately, and thank heaven for that. We hope that all of you all are, too.

Friday, March 14, 2008

My One Day Work Week

I'm home with Roxanne again today. She threw up this morning in the car on the way to Andrea's. It's strange, because I was running really late, and I just sort of felt off somehow, and then that happened. I wonder if my "mama-sense" was sending me subliminal messages that Roxanne was not supposed to make it to day care today. In any case, I called the pediatrician, and the nurse I talked to said it was most likely just the tail end of the virus, and I should just give her Pedialyte and no breastmilk for a while. She seems to be doing fine, and hasn't gotten sick again. I've been keeping her in the bed for most of the day, so we've been having lots of singing and play time in here.

I've noticed since she started at Andrea's that Roxanne is much more laid back. She's always been fairly calm and not super fussy, but now I can leave her on her back alone in the bedroom for fairly significant periods and she just amuses herself kicking and talking and looking at the ceiling. Of course, I don't do that very often, since when we're together I'm totally obsessed with Roxanne and spend all my time with her. But still, it's nice. It was especially nice when we were both sick and we spent two days straight in bed. She was such a good baby and totally happy to play with me in the bed, and didn't demand too much walking around or anything. She has several toys that we play with in the bed, and she is really starting to like them. She is a very sweet baby. Justin and I were reading to her last night, and she really seems to like it. She stares at the pages, and has started hitting the book. She even breathes really fast and bounces a little bit like she's excited. I'm going to do my best to make her a reader. Now that she's older, I want to start reading to her every day, as opposed to a few days a week that I was doing before.

Oh, and I will be posting some new Flickr photos tonight. It's been a while!

Tuesday, March 11, 2008


Well, after taking Roxanne to the pediatrician yesterday, they asked us to take her to Scottish Rite to get an ultrasound on her tummy to make sure that she didn't have any anatomical reason for the vomiting. We were also supposed to get blood work done, but there was some miscommunication between us and the nurse. She told us that the ultrasounds were normal (phew!) and that the doctor had said we could go home. At the time, I was violently ill, having to throw up every ten minutes or so, and Justin felt it coming. We're lucky we left when we did, because as soon as we got home, Justin got violently ill, too. We spent the rest of the evening in the most miserable state of stomach flu I've ever experienced. We both had fevers, headaches, and violent illness. Last night the pediatrician left a voice mail saying that Roxanne's ultrasounds looked great, but they were still waiting on the lab results. Oops. Apparently we shouldn't have gone home after the ultrasound. Roxanne seems to be doing much better though, even though she's still having some diarrhea. Her mood is pretty good, and she's having plenty of wet diapers, which is a good indicator that she's not dehydrated. If I have to take her back today for the blood tests, that's fine, but I really think we all just have a virus and Roxanne is almost over it. Justin and I are feeling a little better this morning, but we're both really weak and achy. I think I still have a slight fever, too. In any case, we'll be at home again today.

Sunday, March 9, 2008

Exhaustion and Trauma

Today marks a big milestone for Justin and I as parents. Our first trip to the emergency room. Don't panic, Roxanne is OK, but we had a scare this morning. Not to delve too much back into the poop chronicles, but Roxanne had some diarrhea yesterday, and since I had talked to the pediatrician's office about it Thursday, I decided I would bring her in on Monday. When I called Thursday, the nurse just told me to keep on eye on it, and if it got worse or she showed signs of dehydration, I should bring her in. Of course, none of that happened, but she did have some issues yesterday. The scary part started in the middle of the night last night, when I woke up to see Roxanne had thrown up. I cleaned her up, and since it was just milk and Roxanne was still eating a lot, I decided it could wait until morning, and that we would go to the Children's Healthcare Immediate Care facility over by Northpoint. However, around 9 am (I thought it was 8 because I didn't remember about the time change) Roxanne threw up two more times. Then I got scared. So I called the Children's Healthcare of Atlanta hotline and spoke to a nurse. She told me that since the last throw-up had yellow in it (bile) that I needed to take Roxanne to the closest emergency room immediately.

In tears, we took Roxanne to Piedmont. We were there for about 5 or 6 hours. They weren't able to tell us very much, just that Roxanne is not dehydrated, and that she does not have any blood in her stool. These are good signs. The doctor suggested that it is likely a virus that she caught at day care. Our course of treatment is having her drink ONLY Pedialyte until tomorrow, and to bring her in to the pediatrician tomorrow morning. I'm still nervous for her, and I hope it's nothing serious, but she seems to be feeling better. She threw up several times at the hospital, but she has been keeping the Pedialyte down so far, and it's been a few hours. Her mood has been good throughout all of this (except for when she got really hungry) and was smiling at the doctor and the nurse. She did not like the Pedialyte at the hospital, which was the clear kind, that has no flavoring. So we were bad parents and bought the orange kind at Publix, and Roxanne has been loving it. She's had about six ounces of it in a couple of hours. This is good for her, since she's usually suspicious of anything in a bottle. She also became mesmerized with her feet in our hospital room, and she was staring down at them and making her toes wiggle. She was moving her hand towards her foot, and occasionally managing to make contact. Just on Friday we've noticed that she is starting to reach for things. We are so proud. It's just amazing to watch her concentrating on a toy and then reach her hand towards it.

I guess part of the difficulty I'm having comes from the fact that I have not been coping with being separated from Roxanne very well. I cry almost every day at work, and at night I just feel sort of desperate, and like I'm being cheated out of time with my baby. What could be more important than spending time with my baby? I know she is going to be grown up in a heartbeat, and I just wish I could spend more time with her. I take comfort in the fact that Andrea is a wonderful child care provider. And I realize that there are thousands of moms in much worse positions than me, but that somehow doesn't make my heart hurt any less when I drop her off every morning. Consequently, I'm actively looking for work from home stuff I could do. It's tough since 90% of it is just scams and pyramid schemes. I will do what I have to do, and if our family can't function without me working at my current job, I will do it. But in the meantime, just the act of looking around provides a little comfort.

For now, I'm going to nap. Roxanne has finally fallen asleep, and I think I'll join her. It's been a long day.

Monday, March 3, 2008


It's been quite a while since I posted. We had a busy weekend. Roxanne met lots of new people. On Saturday, we went to brunch with my friend Christa, and then once we got home, my friend Nicole came over for a visit. Nicole was my officemate until she went to Australia for a while. She just got back and is starting back at Paul Hastings. I'm so happy she's back, but I can't imagine having to leave Australia. She got to travel a lot, and learned how to surf, etc. She's got a serious tan. After Nicole left, we went over to my friend/co-worker Zach's apartment. Some other friend/co-workers came over, too, and we spent the evening playing Rock Band and/or poker. Roxanne was very charming and made friends until she pooped through her clothes and had to have an exhaustive clean up session on Zach's living room floor. Zach has a cat named Clareece. She is very cute, and is the first cat that Roxanne met. They were mutually ambivalent towards each other. Clareece sniffed Roxanne a little bit, but that was about it. Conversely, Roxanne has started to take an interest in Katie. She likes to look at her with her brow all furrowed, like she's trying to figure her out. She's still not really reaching for things yet, but I'm sure when she does, Katie will be in for it.

On Sunday, we went to Nana and Mike and Leah's house to celebrate Kendree's birthday. As always, it's really fun to get our big family together and have everyone play. Anna kept wanting to hold Roxanne, and was very sweet and gentle with her. Sarah Ellen was also very cute with her, and rubbed her tummy for a little while. I got Ella and Chloe to sing songs to her, and I put short videos of it on YouTube. You can see our videos on YouTube at the "Planet Roxanne" page I set up there:

Roxanne is really doing well at Andrea's. She's now eating 12 ounces during the day, which means she is not quite so ravenous when she gets home. This evening was perfect, during which Roxanne ate for a long time while Justin cooked dinner, then after we ate, she danced with Justin to some Beatles songs while I did dishes and made her bottles for tomorrow. They were very cute together. I have been reading board books to Roxanne, and she definitely seems interested. She likes one in particular called "Owl Babies" that Nana got for her. It has very dark pages, but the owls are white, so I think maybe the contrast is easy for her to see. She likes "Runaway Bunny" also. She really likes all of them, but the hard part is that she's grunting and struggling to sit up half of the time she's in my lap, since she seems determined to sit up on her own. She also seems to have noticed her feet. When she wears her little chipmunk socks, she likes to stare at them.

As you might be able to tell, I'm exhausted, and not writing very well tonight. I'll post soon, though, and I promise to be more on my game!