Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Oh what a night

Roxanne was being sort of quiet this evening; sort of stoic and mature. This made me decide to try her in her Bumbo seat. She seemed sort of unimpressed. She just sat in it and sucked her hand. I think she saw it as vaguely convenient since she could easily reach her fist, and this is always a good thing for her these days, as it's in her mouth very often. The problem with it comes from a new move Roxanne is cultivating. Basically, every time we sit her up, she leans forward. Apparently it's called "tri-podding" and is a natural step in babies learning how to sit on their own, but it's very silly. When I sit her up on pillows, she just struggles forward until she topples over. She even does it in her car seat, making this funny grunting sound as she pushes on the harness.

After we saw that she could at least sit in the Bumbo unassisted, we put together her exersaucer to try it out. It took a while and was a pain to put together, but oh man was it worth it. Roxanne really liked standing in it (she loves to stand up when you hold her) and she sort of leaned herself against the side of the seat (see photo) like a pro. We realize that she isn't supposed to be in it until she's four months, but we watched her like a hawk, and she is very strong for her age. She especially liked the rattle, and every time Justin spun it, she would turn her head back and forth really fast like she was looking for the sound. She talked a lot while she was in it, too. I mean a lot. She just chatted and chatted. At one point, her sounds started to sound a little fussy, so Justin pulled her out. As soon as she was out, she started really fussing. He put her back in, and she started chatting again. Altogether, she was in there for about fifteen minutes before she started crying to be taken out. She was so alert in it, and really looking around at some of the toys. She eventually was able to make the rattle spin, but it could easily have been accidental. Either way, she liked the noise.

Oh, and she is feeling much better today. She was able to go to Andrea's.

And I posted lots of photos. Are we overwhelmed yet? I'm trying to figure out how to post a few short videos we've taken of her on our little digital camera (not the video camera yet) on YouTube, but they seem to take five years to load. I'll keep trying though.

Monday, February 25, 2008

Playing Hooky

Roxanne is still having constant poo. It's definitely diarrhea now. Don't you love reading our blog?! Such lovely topics!

I called the Children's Healthcare hot-line yesterday afternoon because Roxanne was still pooping very very frequently, but the nurse I talked to (she was really kind of an idiot) said that since she has no signs of dehydration and is in good spirits and has no fever or anything, I should just call the pediatrician Monday morning. So I did. Overnight, Roxanne's pattern kept up, and I think I changed her diaper in a half-asleep zombie state about four times. I called the pediatrician's office very early, around 7:00, because I needed to know whether or not I should get ready for work or plan to take her in to the doctor. It ended up being neither. A very sleepy doctor called me back (I could hear her baby in the background) who was very nice, although not our normal pediatrician. She said that Roxanne probably has a little stomach bug, and if it doesn't clear up in four or five days, I'll have to bring her in. She said to watch for signs of dehydration, like dry mouth, and if that happens, I'll need to bring her in right away. She said I could give her Pedialyte if I want to, but for now, I'm just trying to nurse her as much as possible. She is complying nicely. She really is very cheerful, and every time she poops she gives me a big proud smile. I was tempted to bring her to Andrea's so I could go to work, since I don't get paid sick days until March 1. But I would be upset if one of the other parents brought their baby in knowing that he or she might have a stomach bug. So we're home and I'll probably have to work on Saturday to make up for it. In the meantime, I'm enjoying myself! I just feel bad for little Roxanne. She's tough though.

Sunday, February 24, 2008

Saturday of Poo (don't proceed if you can't handle poo stories)

Not to be terribly gross, but yesterday was really all about poo. Roxanne and I had a nice early morning, and we went to the consignment sale at the church down the street where we bought some cute clothes for summer. Not much else, but I did see a woman with a giant version of Roxanne's little caterpillar. It was exactly like it, only it was about four feet long. I coveted that caterpillar. I watched her like a hawk until she paid for it and left. I was hoping she'd decide against it, and put it back. Oh well. So after the sale, we went home and picked up Justin so we could all go to brunch together. We headed over to Pastries A Go Go in Decatur. On the ride over, Roxanne made it extremely evident that she was pooping. So while we waited for our table at the restaurant, we changed her diaper in the trunk. Pure class.

After brunch, I was finishing my coffee when I realized that Roxanne had pooped again. I hustled her into the bathroom, which came equipped with a changing table. I made Justin come in there with us. He was very flustered, since we were in the only unisex bathroom, meaning that if a boy had to go, he was just going to have to wait. I however, was merciless. I realized that Roxanne had pooped through her outfit and her coat. So we had to strip her down and basically give her a bath with wipes. She was wailing the whole time. We finally got her cleaned up and changed into a new outfit, during which time a pre-teen boy walked in on us and seemed to be scarred for life. We then went home for a nice afternoon napping session. Roxanne pooped two more times while we were home.

She was all clear for the rest of the day, and we went to IKEA in the evening to get a picture frame. She seemed to enjoy herself there, and I wore her in the sling so that she could see everything. It was overwhelmingly busy there though, and our check out experience left Justin and I both frazzled and stressed. We had a nice quiet evening at home, watching some episodes of The State on iTunes, and went to bed. I then woke up two times during the night to feed Roxanne and both times she had pooped again. It's like she's getting all of it out of the way for the rest of the week. I was worried for a while that she might be sick, but I don't think so. She's been very cheerful and happy, and very playful. I think she's just an overachiever.

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Two Month Check Up

Roxanne had her two month check up this afternoon. Everything went fine, although her weight gain is a little bit slowed down, probably because of the change in her eating habits and not eating as much at day care. She's now 23.5 inches long and 12 pounds 3 ounces. She's still 90th percentile in both height and weight. The doctor said she looked great, and gave me some stern advice about dealing with Roxanne's marathon eating sessions in the evening. She told me that Roxanne is basically having a stand off about the bottle, and so she's snacking just enough during the day to get by, and then eating her fill in the evening. She really does eat for close to three hours once we get home. She stops here and there, but no more than half an hour goes by before she cranks up and wants to eat again. The doctor said once she gets closer to 3 months that I should try and not let Roxanne eat as much overnight. She said she should be able to go at least 6 hours without feeding. However, as it stands, she is only eating two times overnight, once at around 1:00am and again around 5:00am. I guess I just feel like I'd rather miss a little sleep (I'm still sleeping between 6 and 8 hours every night, depending on when I go to sleep) than force her to slow her weight gain even more. I talked to a lactation consultant, Julie Duncan, at Peidmont today (she's pretty well-known and absolutely amazing) and she told me that she sees nothing wrong with our current arrangement. She said that Roxanne might come around to eating more during the day, but as long as she's getting enough, I shouldn't worry about when she's eating. I hate to say it, but I tend to agree with Julie. She's got about 20 years and several kids more than my pediatrician (who is young and doesn't actually have kids).

In any case, Roxanne is doing very well. She had to have 5 shots in her legs, and also one vaccine that is given orally. She totally lost it during the shots. I've never heard her wail the way she did in there. It was crazy. I nursed her afterwards, and she calmed down almost immediately, although she's been pretty fussy the rest of today. I gave her some Infant Tylenol a little while ago, and now she's really really sleeping. Poor thing. It was so hard seeing her so upset. I had to fight back tears. At least she's got two more months until her next check up.

Justin is almost totally better, but since there are a lot of sick people at his work, he's worried that he's going to get sick again. I hope not. I still feel like Roxanne and I dodged a bullet not coming down with whatever it was that he had. I'm glad I got a flu shot when I did. Next year we will all be getting on in October. I get mine free at work. Poor Justin was so miserable. There's nothing worse than a fever.

In other news, check out my Atlanta Parent blog for my recent experience at Babies R Us, where Roxanne peed all over me while she was eating and made me look like I had peed all over myself. I'm about to write it now.

Sunday, February 17, 2008

Brighter Horizons

Justin is feeling much better now. He's still not 100%, but he's holding Roxanne for the first time in a while, and I know that's nice. She just had a bath, so it's the perfect time to rock with Daddy in the glider for a while. She looks so huge now. Her little feet come down to his waist when she's on his shoulder. We go to the pediatrician on February 20th for her next check-up, and I'm really anxious to see how much she weighs.

We've really had a nice weekend, and I'm trying to focus more and more on staying positive and living in the moment. Since I know that I can't be with Roxanne all the time, I'm trying very hard to be happy and upbeat when we are together. It's working very well so far. I only cried a little bit on Friday when I dropped Roxanne off, and I didn't feel my usual overwhelming guilt all day at work. There's some weird part of my mommy-hormonal brain that thinks I should feel miserable and guilty every second that I'm not with Roxanne, and working has been helping me to ease that a little bit. I almost wonder if I would have felt that way until she went off to kindergarten if I was a full time mom. I'm also trying to keep in mind that I've been through some tough stuff, and so has Justin, and we've always come out for the better.

Roxanne is changing so much every day. She's really a very happy baby these days. She really hardly ever fusses, and she smiles a lot. We have been having dance parties this weekend to Disney songs on YouTube. I also play her "Baby Beluga" that someone posted on YouTube and we sing it together. She really likes that. She still hates tummy time, but she'll go for a little longer each time before screaming, so I think it's improving. She also has been spending a lot of time with her right hand in her mouth just the last two days. She has done that for a while, but it always seemed sort of accidental, whereas now it seems more deliberate. It makes me nervous, since strangers always touch her hands, but I've just got to remember to be more diligent about cleaning her hands.

Roxanne and I did some stuff together yesterday while Justin continued to spend quiet time getting better. We went to breakfast with some of my co-workers at Einstein Brothers Bagels at Ansley Mall, and Roxanne was pretty well-behaved. She really likes to look around. After that, we came home for a nap before going to a funeral in Brookhaven. The funeral was for a wonderful family friend named Knute, who was very close to my Dad. He was from Norway, and a very neat person. His wife Gerry is wonderful. The service was at Our Lady of the Assumption Catholic Church, which is really beautiful. Roxanne and I didn't go in to the service until the very end, after my dad gave a very nice and moving speech. She was being a little bit fussy, so I ended up nursing her in a prayer garden, which felt somehow wildly inappropriate and completely natural at the same time. There was a statue of a saint keeping an eye on us the whole time. After the service, we went to the reception at Gerry's home right across the street, and everyone came up to see Roxanne. She smiled at people, which she usually doesn't do, and was very charming for the most part. I wore her in the sling, and I positioned her so she could see out. She did get fussy at the end, mostly because she was hungry and mad that I was trying to give her a bottle. I'm glad we went, and I only wish Roxanne could have met Knute. He was always very sweet to me and Kendree when we were little.

I have work off tomorrow, so I'm really thrilled. Justin has to work though, so maybe we'll go have lunch with him. It's such a pain to park in downtown though. You have to pay at least $5, and the only lot near Justin's work is really cramped and awful. We'll see.

We hope you are all doing well and haven't been brought down by the flu season.

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Sick Daddy-O

I'm starting to feel better. I'm not crying hysterically any more, and I've been able to enjoy myself at work a little (lunch with my co-workers, witty office banter, etc.) but I still miss Roxanne very very much. The best part of my day is picking her up from Andrea's. I get a little report card every day, with information about Roxanne's mood, her naps, her eating and her diapers. Today Roxanne was "tired." Tuesday and Wednesday she was "playful" and "chatty." Andrea likes her a lot and gives her lots of kisses when I drop her off. She says she's beautiful. I'm inclined to agree. She said that Roxanne is very very alert and likes the swing. She said Roxanne grabs for the little bird that hangs down on it. She also says she is very strong for her age. She showed me how Roxanne tries to talk to her when she is holding her and talks to her close to her face. It's very cute. Andrea has such a pretty accent. Roxanne has also gotten up to about 8 ounces a day while she's there, but she still eats and eats and eats at home. I still wish that I could stay home with her all the time, but things are getting better.

Justin has been feeling ill for about a week or so. Today he actually had to leave work early, and he's pretty sure he has a fever. We think he has the flu. So far, Roxanne and I have been OK (knock on wood) so I'm hoping that if it is the flu, it's the strain that the vaccine covers and me and Roxanne will be fine. Next year, Justin is getting a flu shot if I have to take him myself. I feel so awful for him. He looks miserable, and he's been afraid to touch me or Roxanne all week. I rented him a couple of movies this afternoon after I picked Roxanne up, but I think he's too miserable to watch them.

Well, Roxanne is almost asleep enough so that I can sneak away and walk Katie. We wish you all a Happy Valentine's Day! Oh, I posted some new photos on Flickr. I know a lot of them are poor quality, but I figured most of you won't mind!

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

I'm not totally broken yet

Not to be a drama queen, but these have been tough days. I'm doing alright, and I'm trying to keep perspective and not feel sorry for myself. But I'm still having a hard time. I'm ready to admit fully that I don't want to be doing this. I want to be a stay at home mom. But we can't do that, so I'm going to make this work. Yesterday was the hardest, and I spent most of the morning with my office door closed and bawling my eyes out while I worked. It just doesn't seem like I'm getting enough time with Roxanne. And since she's not eating well (5 ounces all day yesterday at the sitter) during the day, once I pick her up, she literally nurses for close to three hours. She takes little cat naps and may or may not wake up and play for a few minutes here or there, but she's just starving.


Sunday, February 10, 2008

Sunday night blues

Geez, it's been a super fast week! Nothing too terribly exciting happened. I just sort of stuck close to home most of the week to get lots of quality time with Roxanne. On Thursday I took Roxanne into my office to meet some of my co-workers. It was very difficult for me, but everyone loved Roxanne. They all acted shocked that I was already coming back, so I politely suggested that they take it up with the short-term disability insurance that only pays you for five weeks of maternity leave. The HR women at the L.A. office kept saying that I was welcome to take a full twelve weeks, but if we could afford for me to not get paid for 7 weeks then we could probably afford for me to quit! Not that I told her that. I just acted like I was ready to come back.

On Friday my mom came down and we went to a consignment sale and then out to lunch with Roxanne. It was nice. Then Kendree and Jon and the girls came down for dinner on Friday night. Roxanne was really a pretty good baby the whole day. I went to Gato Bizco with my mom for lunch on Friday, and Roxanne was totally flirting with a hipster boy in the booth behind us. And at Flying Biscuit, where we went Friday night for dinner, she was totally mesmerized by the sunflowers they have painted on the wall. She did fuss some. Mainly because of the whole bottle situation. I bought orthodontic nipples by Playtex, and they are definitely more agreeable to her, and she will sometimes take up to an ounce at a time with them now, but she still hates it and fusses intermittenly. It takes hours to get her to eat four ounces or so, and then when I finally just give in and nurse her, she eats for forty five minutes or so.

She has started vocalizing a lot more just in the latter part of this week. She's making new noises that we haven't heard before, and she is increasingly interactive. She really watches us, even when we're not very close to her face, and she sometimes talks back a little when you talk to her. It's sad to us though, because her happiest times are in the morning and early afternoon, and she's usually just fussy in the evening. Good for Andrea (our day-care provider) but bad for us.

Tomorrow I go back to work, although Justin and I are both sick. It's been dragging for a couple of days for me, just a stuffy nose that is somehow also runny, but Justin seems a little worse off. Roxanne seems OK though, thank goodness. She's fussy today, but I think she's picking up on my mood. I'm trying as hard as possible to stay positive and not get upset, but it's the hardest thing I've ever dealt with in my life. Honestly. I know only women who have been through it understand where I'm coming from, but it's very very hard. I'm just hoping that it gets easier after this first week. I was up until 4:30am last night watching videos on YouTube and trying not to think about tomorrow. It was pretty effective, but now I'm exhausted. Sometime around 4:00am I was starting to wonder if I could get a doctor to prescribe me some valium or something (morphine?) to get through the week. Not really though. I know I'll be OK, and Roxanne will be fine, I'll just be crying a lot. And nauseated. For some reason, every time I think about dropping her off, my stomach and chest totally seize up and I feel like I have food poisoning or something. It's insane.

Well, wish me luck!

Monday, February 4, 2008

Case of the Mondays

Roxanne and I are really being lazy today. We had a busy weekend, taking Roxanne to Lenox on Saturday night, and going to Nana and Mike and Leah's house yesterday for a big family party. After leaving Nana's we also went to Babies R Us and bought some vitals, like diapers, wipes, etc. We bought a sun shade for the car, and I'm proud to announce that I talked Justin into letting me get the Sponge Bob Squarepants one. We're going to look like "those" parents. You know, the ones who have a nursery decorated with Winnie the Pooh and a wardrobe full of Disney characters, etc. etc. But we're not. Don't worry. I just like Sponge Bob. Especially the snail that meows. That appeals to my high brow sense of humor.

Anyways, Roxanne didn't nap much yesterday or Saturday, so today she's just been snoozing a lot, and I'm just laying around with her. I keep waking her up while kissing her head, and it makes her irritated. She swats at me. Isn't she too young to resent me? Oh well, I guess I should start getting used to it.

Yesterday was fun, and Roxanne got passed around a lot. She sort of seemed to like it. My cousins, Sarah Ellen and Anna are three year old twins, and they both got to "hold" Roxanne yesterday. It was very funny listening to Anna say "I want Roxanne in my hand" over and over. The only downside was that Roxanne is continuing to refuse the bottle. It's sort of annoying because I keep pumping milk for it, and it ends up thrown out because Roxanne just won't take it in the bottle. What's a mom to do? I'm sure she'll get it sooner or later. She's a big girl, and I know she likes to eat.

My mom found this Lamaze tummy time toy (in the picture) and I've been trying to get Roxanne interested in it. She's still a little small for it, but she looks really funny in it. She just hangs her head off the edge and whimpers, but she is working on keeping it up! For now, I'm still doing some regular tummy time, too, since she needs to work on her shoulder strength, and she's too small to use her arms much while on the toy. It's really cute though.