Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Baby Therapy

It's amazing how much babies take care of their mommies. Since the events on Friday, Justin and Roxanne have kept me grounded. I know to some people, it doesn't seem like what happened would be all that traumatic, but I promise, it's one of the most horrible things I've ever experienced on a million different levels. I think my co-workers are the only people who actually understand how impossible it is to stop thinking about it. They understand how you feel guilty if you go more than five minutes without mourning. But I am getting better. We had a memorial service at work today and there is one organized by Raven's family on Saturday in Roswell. I am going to try and go to that. I think they will be starting a collection at work to donate money to Raven's family, and I plan to donate to that. I keep thinking about how she was getting her master's degree online in journalism, because she had big plans, and I think about student loans both for that and her undergraduate degree. The firm is helping her family with funeral costs and I think that is very admirable.

Anyways, Roxanne has been a true blessing for me. She makes me smile, and I have to stay together to take care of her. She met Raven about a week ago in the parking lot at work, and Raven went on and on about how cute Roxanne was. Roxanne gave her lots of smiles. Unfortunately, I will never bring Roxanne to work again. I just don't feel safe.

On Saturday, we went to the Inman Park Festival, which was really perfect. We watched the parade, or part of it at least, and Roxanne really was watching everything. Earlier in the day, we took her to Petsmart and she really enjoyed looking at all of the little creatures. We watched the birds for a while, and then the rodents. Justin firmly stated that we are never allowed to get a hamster. I'm ok with that since they are so smelly, but I think I'd consider some of the other little guys. But Justin does have allergies... On that same topic, Roxanne is more and more fascinated by Katie. She sings to her and watches her very very closely. It's adorable. Katie is warming up to her, too. She now sniffs her when we come home and checks her feet thoroughly. Roxanne's hand eye coordination is advancing quickly, and she is really starting to be able to grab things. So far, it's mainly toys and Daddy's glasses, but she's started going for Katie's face. She also pulls my hair.

Well, I wanted to say thank you to those of you who reached out to me during this tough time, and I'm sorry I wasn't more responsive. It was very difficult to talk about. And if you are interested in the details of what happened, the most in-depth article I've found is this one.

I know it seems morbid, but all of my co-workers have been constantly looking online for more details. We want to know why this happened. And while we aren't getting a lot of answers, at least there are some. I will also say that some of the details in the articles are not correct, but I won't get into that.

Friday, April 25, 2008

Devastating News

I just wanted to take a moment to say that something very very tragic this afternoon happened. You may have heard on the news that there was a shooting at the Bank of America Plaza (where I work). It was a man and a woman in a murder/suicide, and they both worked in my office. I won't talk about Jermaine, the man who committed the shootings, but I will say that Raven, the victim, was one of the most beautiful, sweet and intelligent women I have ever met. She was always smiling, always friendly, and always laughing. She was only 26 years old. My co-workers are all completely in shock, and immensely saddened. We are also afraid. It's so heart-breaking to think how I just spoke with Raven earlier this afternoon. And it's terrifying to think I saw Jermaine several times today. His desk was only a little ways away from my office. Nothing like this has ever happened to me before, and I am still in shock. I just wanted to post this as a means of therapy, and to let any of you who hear about it in the news know that I am safe. I'm home now, snuggling Roxanne and trying to calm down. I am afraid though. These are dangerous times.

Thursday, April 24, 2008

Read all about it!

Sorry, I think that is the cheesiest title I've ever had on a post...

But I just wanted to let you all know that I'm going to have my first ever article published in the May issue of Atlanta Parent. It's an article about breastfeeding in public. I also wrote a short thing called a "Mommy Diary" for the spring issue of Atlanta Baby, which basically was a day in the life of me and Roxanne (while I was on maternity leave).

I'm working on an article now for the June issue about part time day care. I'm really hoping that someday this freelance writing stuff will get me somewhere! Like maybe a full time job...but I'm new at it for now, so don't judge too harshly.

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Giant Baby!

This picture is of Roxanne in her sun hat at the Chattahoochee Nature Center. My sister took it.

Roxanne had her four month appointment this morning. Only three shots and one oral vaccine today (phew). I really deliberated over keeping her home with me or taking her to Andrea's, but in the end, I took her to Andrea's. She's got Tylenol, and she promised to call me if anything happened or Roxanne got overly fussy. She was very polite at the doctor's office, and although she was kicking the doctor a lot, it was not mean-spirited kicking. Just happy baby kicking.

So, she is huge. She is 15 pounds 15.6 ounces and 25 inches long. Her head is 15 3/4 inches. The doctor says she is 80th percentile for height and 90th for weight. She said that Roxanne looks wonderful. She showed off her standing abilities, as well as her tummy time skills. We also talked about when to start her on cereal, and she said it would be fine to wait until she's 6 months. She also said that for Roxanne's weight, she should be able to go for 8 hours at night without eating. I guess we'll have to try that... I was thinking about finally moving the crib into our room this weekend so we could test her out in there. But in all honesty, the thought is tough for me. I love having her in the bed with me. She's so snuggly and sweet. And it's the biggest block of time we get to spend together!

We'll see...

Monday, April 21, 2008

Monday again?

Sorry it's been so long since I've posted. Things have been very busy for us this last week. Roxanne had some kind of icky snotty nose/cough thing which she apparently gave to her Daddy, and so sickness strikes again! Justin had a tough weekend this weekend, with a nasty sore throat and just general ickiness. In the hopes that he might be able to get some sleep, Roxanne and I went out on Saturday and met my sister Kendree and her girls, my mom and my little sister Leah at the Chattahoochee Nature Center for their Earth Day celebration. It was lots of fun. They had all kinds of exhibits set up that were really interesting, like this cool toilet attachment that hooks onto the top of your tank, so that when you flush, water comes out of the faucet, you wash your hands with it, and then it runs down into the bowl to be used to flush the toilet. Pretty cool, right? And the attachment was under $100. Fernbank had a table set up with "compost" worms, which totally grossed me out but mesmerized Ella and Chloe. They even pet the hissing beetle from Madagascar that was like 3 inches long.

I also got to go canoing with Leah while my mom held Roxanne. It was really fun, although we got stuck on about 50 different trees. The whole area is beautiful. I wish it was a little closer, but it is close to Historic Roswell, so afterwards, we went to Fickle Pickle (although Kendree and the girls were off to a birthday party). Fickle Pickle is an adorable restaurant in Roswell. The food is delicious.

Roxanne really enjoyed herself all weekend. She is very friendly, and likes to smile at people and talk and talk and talk. She's also starting to show interest in what I'm eating, and has even started reaching for things. I just read that that is a sign that babies are getting geared up for solid food. I still want to wait until she's six months just to be safe. She turned four months old on Saturday. It's crazy to see how much she's changed in just four months. She's really a real baby now. Her four month check up is on Wednesday, and I can't wait to find out how much she's grown. I know it's a lot.

Friday, April 11, 2008

Roll Over, Roll Over

Roxanne can roll from her back to her belly now. She did it for the first time sometime in the middle of the night on Monday. I sort of smiled in a half asleep haze. It makes me proud, but also a little sad, because I really think I should probably put her in the crib now. I have paranoid visions of Roxanne rolling right off the bed. That is extremely scary. I read in one of my baby books that is in favor of co-sleeping that babies will only roll towards you, and so far that has been true, but I don't think I trust it enough... Plus, I think Justin would like Roxanne in a crib. I wish we had a giant king size bed so we could all fit comfortably. Our double bed is fine, but it gets tight with just me and Justin (or nowadays, me and Roxanne) and there is no way the three of us could fit. Maybe eventually we can afford to upgrade to a queen or king. That would be exciting!

Roxanne came into work with me for a little while yesterday evening. I had to finish some things up, and I have to pick her up from daycare between 5:00 and 5:30, so I went and picked her up around 5:00 and then we came back here. She is so well-behaved! She sat in my lap and banged on my desk while I put together some filings and sent a few e-mails. She smiled at all my c0-workers (it's scary how many people are still around here at 6:00 and later...) and even giggled at my boss. She must have known who to impress. She did start to get fussy eventually, but I think it was because she was bored. Then she did a loud and giant poop while one of my co-workers was in my office fawning over her, and I of course had neglected to bring any diapers in with me. I think she was letting me know it was time to leave. I've only brought her into work a few times, but every time I do, she poops. That's what she thinks about my job I guess. I'm inclined to agree.

Monday, April 7, 2008

Lazy weekend

Sorry it's been so long since I posted! Last week was awful at work, and this week is not looking much better. Five people got fired today, and although they were all expecting it, it was sad and also uncomfortable.

This weekend was nice and easy. On Saturday we did nothing but brunch and laying around at home. Just watched the big basketball games while me and Roxanne played upstairs. Friday night was similar. Roxanne was throwing an absolute fit on Friday night, and it definitely seemed like it was teething related. She almost always settles down once I nurse her, but Friday she was just desperately miserable, and almost seemed to get worse when I tried to nurse her. I finally gave her a tiny bit of Orajel, which seemed to help some. Then I broke all of my rules and let her watch a little TV with me while chewing on the heel of my hand. We watched some old episodes of Project Catwalk, Season 1, which is the British version of Project Runway. I love it! I have decided that Kirsty Doyle, who ends up winning, is my new hair idol. Her hair is what my hair could be if I used fantastic styling products, fantastic red dye, and had a fantastic hair stylist (no offense to Justin, my current coiffeur). Plus, she's from Liverpool and has a lovely accent. Roxanne watched about 15 minutes worth and then fell asleep. It's scary how fascinated she is by the TV, or in our case, laptop/youtube.

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

I can't believe how fast the days go...

It's already Tuesday! We had a great weekend this weekend. You know the kind, relaxing but busy and interesting.

We went to brunch on Saturday morning and then out for a little birthday gift shopping for our friend Bob. Roxanne is really getting good at the whole restaurant thing. I let her sit in my lap and she just sits quietly and plays with the table. If she gets fussy, I give her these Baby Einstein plastic links to play with, and she loves them. Until she throws them on the floor... She has a little squishy bath book that Nana and Mike and Leah gave her for Easter, and it's perfect for the diaper bag, and she likes to look at this at restaurants, too. Usually by the end of the meal, she's up on mine or Justin's shoulder snoozing. We're hoping that she stays this mellow and easy going.

After shopping, we went to Athens for Bob's birthday. It was nice to see some of our old friends (and former bandmates...) and they all liked Roxanne a lot. She was being very charming, even though we ended up staying for a long time and she was up past her bed time. We were driving home around 10:00, and Justin was commenting on how he was frustrated that we left so late, and then we realized that the last time we visited Bob, we left around 1:30 am. But those were pre-Roxanne days. Either way, driving on 316 to Atlanta any time after dark is sort of awful.

Sunday we went to brunch in Historic Roswell at Pastis, with my Dad and Colleen (Pop pop and Yaya to the babies), and my sister and her family. Roxanne really likes her cousins. Ella sang her songs when she got fussy, and she totally loved it. Just stared at her and smiled. After brunch we walked around and went to one gallery where they had a ton of original paintings and sculptures by Dr. Seuss! They were absolutely amazing. If Justin and I had money, I would have definitely bought one. They also had limited edition prints of some scenes from his books, but even these were around $200. But they really were just amazing. The sculpture above was my favorite.

We went to a coffee shop after walking around for a while where you can paint pieces of pottery and then pick them up in a week or so all fired and pretty. Ella painted a mermaid, and Chloe did a frog. I painted a little star-shaped candy dish for Roxanne, thinking we could keep her pacifiers in it. It was so relaxing! I forgot how much fun it is to paint things. While I painted, Roxanne was the pass around baby and took a nap on Colleen. By the time we left Roxanne was a little overstimulated. Our Sunday evening was quiet and restful. And we have been discovering that Roxanne very much enjoys slow dancing with Daddy.

She is also getting a little bit more rough with me, not that she is doing it on purpose, but she has started ripping off my glasses and pulling my hair. I'm still in the honeymoon phase, where I'm just so excited that she's being interactive that I don't mind the pain. I wonder when that will wear off... During bath time on Sunday, she started copying me, which was very exciting. We play this little game called "Monster Baby" where we make Roxanne stand up and we say "Monster Baby!" and growl. She likes it a lot, and I was doing it during her bath, when she started growling back. It was so cute!