I'm not totally broken yet

Not to be a drama queen, but these have been tough days. I'm doing alright, and I'm trying to keep perspective and not feel sorry for myself. But I'm still having a hard time. I'm ready to admit fully that I don't want to be doing this. I want to be a stay at home mom. But we can't do that, so I'm going to make this work. Yesterday was the hardest, and I spent most of the morning with my office door closed and bawling my eyes out while I worked. It just doesn't seem like I'm getting enough time with Roxanne. And since she's not eating well (5 ounces all day yesterday at the sitter) during the day, once I pick her up, she literally nurses for close to three hours. She takes little cat naps and may or may not wake up and play for a few minutes here or there, but she's just starving.

Ugh.