4 weeks today!

I can't believe it's already been 4 weeks since Roxanne was born. It's crazy! I feel like it's just been a few days, although I have to admit that I've completely forgotten what it feels like to be pregnant. I know that sounds bizarre, but it's true. I keep looking at the pictures on Flickr and trying to remember what my belly felt like, and I really can't. Thank goodness. Even though I have a long way to go as far as losing as much weight as I want and my belly looks sort of like a deflated zeppelin, I feel so much smaller than I used to, and I'm just not that down on myself. It's wonderful to have ankles again! They are so dainty!

Roxanne is really changing at lightning pace. She's awake more, and more aware when she's awake. We also think her face is changing. She's had a full week this week, with friends coming to visit Monday and today. Monday Jacquelyn and Evie came over (and Jesse came over later) and today my Mom came over with lunch. Then my sister and Ella and Chloe came over with Jacquelyn and Evie after they had gone to Fernbank. So we've had lots of visitors. Roxanne likes to stare at people when she's awake, so she got to stare at Kendree and my Mom for a good while. She's very intense. But wonderful. I've never felt as important as I do when she's staring at me. I realize that that sounds like something from one of those Chicken Soup for the Soul books, but it's true. I really really love being a mom.

I've been trying to have Roxanne take a bottle about once a week, and we tried tonight. I had a beer with my dinner since I knew I had some milk stored that was going to go bad in a couple of days. Of course, she won't take the bottle from me. I think it just makes her mad because she can smell the milk from me, and doesn't like to eat from the bottle. Fortunately, she will eat from the bottle when Justin gives it to her. She's still not crazy about it, but we've only got a few more weeks before she's going to be in day care and has to eat from a bottle every day. I'll still be able to breastfeed in the mornings and evenings, but during the day, she'll be eating pumped breastmilk. I found out that my office has a special "pumping lounge" for people like me. That should be interesting... I wish I didn't share an office so that I could just do it while I work, but for now, no go. However, there is no one in my office since my officemate got fired a while back, so I guess we'll see. I'm still really really really really not looking forward to having to give up my days with Roxanne. I e-mailed Andrea, her day care provider yesterday to tell her when Roxanne would be starting, etc. and had a two hour crying fit. I am sure it will get easier. For now, I just keep trying to focus on enjoying the time we have together. She's just so perfect.