Three week old baby

Roxanne is three weeks old as of yesterday. It's hard to believe it's been that long! The days sort of melt together for me, and I often have NO idea what day it is. But it's lovely. I'm really enjoying spending so much time with Roxanne. I know Justin loves it, too. We went for walks yesterday and today, with Roxanne in the sling again. I'm going to try and take her out for walks at least 5 days a week. I think it's good for both of us. The weather has been so agreeable lately, and that definitely makes it easier. It's so hilly around our neighborhood, and although we walk slowly, I'm always huffing and puffing while Justin and Katie are sort of bored. I'm definitely out of shape, and carrying a big old baby around is tough, too. Roxanne still defiantly sleeps through the walks, and still makes her little whimper sounds the whole time. I always want her to look around and enjoy the scenery, but I know she can't see it yet anyways.

Justin goes back to work on Monday, and I'm supposed to go back on January 29th. We're trying to plan it so that I can take a little more time off, maybe a week or two, but it will take some fiddling with the budget to see if that's possible. My work finally told me that they didn't think I could do any work from home. I expected this, but it was still very tough to hear. I'm disappointed, and I have a lot of anxiety about handing Roxanne off. I am jealous of moms who get to stay home for six months or more with babies. I think it's good for kids to be around other kids once they get older, but I'm not sure that a six-week old really benefits too much from day care. But we have to do what we have to do. It's mathematically impossible for us to get by on one income. And I do like Andrea, our in-home day care provider. I also think I might try to adjust my work schedule so that I can be with Roxanne more when she's awake in the afternoon and evening. I'm sure we'll figure it out.

Justin and I are still dragging a little bit with our colds, but we are feeling better. Roxanne seems to be feeling better, too. My sister always says that breast milk is like miracle milk, and I'm inclined to agree. I read that when mom's are sick and worried that the baby will get sick, more frequent breastfeeding is recommended because the antibodies that the mom is producing to fight her sickness are transmitted to the baby through the milk. The more I read about breastfeeding, the more it amazes me. I'm hoping to breastfeed Roxanne for about 12 months. It's definitely tough, but she's really doing well with it, and we make a good team.

Roxanne is getting bigger and longer, and a lot of her 0-3 month onesies are a little short in the sleeves and legs. I'm excited for her pediatrician appointment, since I can't wait to see how much she's grown. Even though she eats very often and is clearly not a scrawny little thing, I worry sometimes that she's not getting enough from just me, so actually knowing her weight gain will be reassuring. It's weird to think that you are the sole source of a living thing's sustenance. Especially a living thing that you love so much.

Roxanne is still sleeping in the bed, even though I try to put her in the bassinet almost every night. She just wakes up right away. And it's so much easier for us to be in the bed together, as I just feed her laying down, and we both fall back to sleep afterwards. I think I'm probably getting close to 8 hours of sleep again. It might still be more like 6 or 7, but it's definitely tolerable. And for now, it's just sleeping and feeding. Roxanne hasn't gotten fussy for no reason during the night for a while. She sometimes gets fussy in the evenings, but it usually seems to be gas. We're lucky to have such a good baby.